AN AMNESIC ANGEL... by Axel Terizaki ICQ # 34301980 ASUKA's Notebook First Gateway Second Gateway Third Gateway -=SECOND MEMORY=- Background: What a surprise! After a raging battle against an Angel, Asuka's now amnesic and can't remember anything. When she awakened, she first saw Shinji and is now seeking for protection and comfort. Could you imagine yourself awakening in an hospital room, seeing unknown faces in an unknown place, with giant robots fighting against giant creatures? Asuka doesn't want to remember anything, feeling that her old life was nothing but pain. But will she succeed in finally forgetting her hard past? Will she fully recover her memory instead? Will Shinji help her? Does anyone know where's that damn Evangelion MP3 CD I'm searching for in my messy room for one week now? --- CAPTION: THE SECOND MEMORY CAPTION 2: Familiarization. --- Misato's apartment. Misato : "Come on, Shinji, get up now! It's time! And there's NO breakfast! I'm hungry! Get up now and cook something, please!!!" Misato was in the hallway, knocking at Shinji's door. Misato : "I'm coming in!" She opened the door, and almost instantenously, her jaw dropped at the sight in front of her. Asuka was in Shinji's bed, holding him gently from behind. She was smiling broadly as if she was in the safest place in the world. Shinji, on his side, was quietly awakening, and saw Misato in front of him. Misato was speechless for some minutes. Shinji : "Mi...Misato-san! I can explain! That's not what you..." Misato, shouting : "WHAT ARE YOU *TWO* DOING IN THE SAME BED!!?" Shinji : "Ssshhhh.. You'll wake her up!" Misato : "But...!" Too late, Asuka had awakened, thanks to Misato's outburst. Asuka, opening her eyes, and sitting up : "Ma...M...I'm sorry..." Misato : "Now tell me, what are you two doing in the same bed!?" Shinji : "Really, that's not..." Asuka lowered her head and stood up. She then slowly walked out of the room. That silenced Misato. Asuka was now behind her. Asuka, not even looking at her : "I'm sorry, Major Katsuragi. I was just... I was just...I was...oh..." And with that, she ran to her room and shut the door behind her. Pause. Shinji : "Misato-san." Misato : "I know..." Shinji : "How could you? She's already afraid of this world and you scold her like that!" Misato : "Well, I guess that I thought with my Major side... And a pregnant pilot was the worst idea that came into my mind when I saw you two." Shinji : "Nothing happened, Misato-san. Don't worry for that." Misato, sighing : "What a relief..." Shinji left his room without any word and headed towards Asuka's. Misato, to herself, lowering her head : "Well done, Misato. You really are a complete prat." --- Asuka's room. Shinji entered silently into her room and saw an Asuka curled in a ball on her bed, like the previous day on her hospital one. Asuka : "She doesn't like me, does she?" Shinji, sitting beside her : "She loves us both, Asuka. But, you know, Misato-san's a Major. She has responsabilities over us. She has to assure her seniors that nothing would happen to us. Like well... If I had got you pregnant, I don't know how my father would have reacted..." [Axel : Heh heh... *I* know how he would have reacted... :-) ] Asuka : "Your father...? You have parents? But you are like me, a pilot. Then why do you have your parents and not me?" Shinji : "My father... Is the commander of NERV, the organization we belong to." Asuka : "Oh. I see. And your mother?" Shinji, lowering his head : "She... disappeared when I was young." Asuka, sadly : "I'm sorry... I think I understand how you feel, but I can't see why. I feel sorry for asking you this..." Shinji : "Well, that's not important. I hadn't the time to tell you something I should have a few minutes ago." Asuka : "What is it?" He took his time to place himself in front of her face and looked her right into her eyes. Shinji, softly : "Good morning, Asuka." Asuka, smiling warmly, a little surprised : "Gutten morgen, Shinji." And then she immediately began to give him a confused look. Shinji : "What's wrong?" Asuka : "Why have I talked to you in German? I'm Japanese, right?" Shinji : "Well, as far as I know, you come from Germany." Asuka : "Deutschland? I... I remember..." A flash of light stroke Asuka's mind as she saw a glimpse of a door opening. Her vision then returned to normal. She was looking at the ground. Shinji : "Asuka. Are you okay?" Asuka : "Yes... I think..." Shinji : "You scared me! Your eyes were so empty all of a sudden..." Asuka : "I feel better now, thanks." Shinji : "You should go to the bathroom and take a bath now... You'll feel a lot better. And besides, today I'll show you the city. And this afternoon, we'll go to school, okay?" Asuka, startled : "School?" She gave him a puzzled look. Asuka : "SCHOOL!?" Shinji : "Y-yes, school..." Asuka : "Wait a sec'. We have to protect mankind, well, that's what I understood, and we have in addition of that to go to school!? We HAVE to go to SCHOOL!!! I can't believe this!" Shinji, shrugging : "We are normal teens, after all." Asuka, reluctantly : "Oh god... I think I hate school..." --- Asuka then proceeded to the bathroom and took a hot bath. However, Misato was in the way. Shinji was just behind Asuka when they left her room. Misato : "Hmmm, well... Asuka, I apologize for having scolded you this morning. I was just hungry and... Well, when I'm hungry, I can't control myself. Sorry, Asuka... And sorry too, Shinji-kun. I think I just lost my temper. I'm leaving now. Have a good day, okay?" Asuka : "It's my turn to apologize, Major. I just wanted to..." Misato, smiling and interrupting her : "Hey, Asuka... How many times did I tell you to call me 'Misato', which is my name?" Asuka : "Sorry about that too, Mi...Misato. I hope I'll get it right soon." Misato, smiling warmly : "Don't worry for that, Asuka. I have to go now, or Ritsuko will kill me if I'm too late." Shinji : "You sure you don't want something to eat? I thought you were hungry." She was about to pass throughout the opened door. Misato : "Hm, I'll take something on the way to the H.Q. don't worry... I don't have much time to eat now, or I'll be VERY late..." Shinji : "..." Misato, winking and grinning at him : "Don't take advantage of her, Shinji-kun..." Shinji was blushing heavily. That greatly amused Asuka, who giggled. Misato then shut the front door behind her, laughing. --- A few minutes later... Shinji was preparing a breakfast for Asuka in the kitchen. Asuka, calling out from the bathroom : "Shinjiiii!!!" Shinji, coming in front of the door : "Yes? What's going on, Asuka? Do you need something?" The reply took some time to come. Asuka, with a kawaii voice : "Can you come in and rub my back, please?" Shinji, stunned : "W-WHAT!? I... I..." Asuka, seductively : "Yeah... I want you to come in and help me with that soap..." Shinji : "B-but... But... You..." Asuka burst out laughing. Shinji couldn't believe his ears. Asuka : "Ok, sorry, Shinji! I was making fun of you, I'm sorry. I just wish I could have saw your face at that moment, it must have been great!" Shinji, grinning and doing as if he hadn't heard Asuka : "Okay, I'm coming!" Shinji then heard a little splash coming from inside the bathroom. Asuka, frightened : "W-what? You mean... You're gonna do it!? You pervert! Don't enter this bathroom!" Shinji, laughing : "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!" Asuka, giggling : "Okay, I'm gonna kill you later! Brace yourself!" --- From inside the bathroom, Asuka was in her bath, looking at the ceiling. Asuka : "This Ikari Shinji..." She smiled. Asuka : "He's kind and sweet... I think I like him." --- After a while, she left the bathroom and headed to her own room in order to get dressed. She then came into Shinji's room, who was listening to his SDAT. Asuka : "Shinji!" Shinji, having heard Asuka's voice, got off his earphones. Shinji : "Yes?" Asuka : "May I come in?" Shinji : "Of course." She opened the door. She was in her school uniform. Asuka : "How do I look in this?" Shinji : "I'd say I find you as cute as usual." Asuka, smiling : "Thank you." Pause. Asuka : "Then, where are we going this morning?" Shinji : "Well, I think I'm gonna show you the city and how to go to the H.Q. in case of an emergency. And, after that, we'll go to school." Asuka : "It's ok for me. Well, I think." Pause. Asuka : "I'm sorry, when I was taking my bath... I made fun of you..." Shinji : "Well, that doesn't change very much from your old self." Asuka : "But I must admit that making fun of you is greatly amusing!" Shinji : "The old Asuka thought the same, you know..." Asuka : "I may be beginning to recover my memories, who knows?" Shinji : "Yeah, maybe..." --- The two teens left the apartment. Shinji showed Asuka the principal places he thought she went before her accident, like the mall, or the gateways to the Geo-front... Then, the time to go to school finally came. They were walking side by side. Asuka : "So, what's the schedule for this afternoon in class?" Shinji : "Usually, we have history, PE and then back into history..." Asuka, releasing a slightly frustrated sigh : "Oh... A boring afternoon then?" Shinji : "You'll see by yourself." Asuka : "And, have I friends? I mean, at school?" Shinji : "Oh yes! I'm so stupid that I didn't think about talking of our friends..." Asuka : "*Our* friends?" Shinji : "Well, yeah... First there's the Class Representative Hikari Horaki. It's your best friend. I really think she is, since you always are with her." Asuka : "Damn, I'm her best friend and I can't remember it, that's so embarrassing..." Shinji : "And then, there are Toji and Kensuke, my two friends. You're not as close as I am to them. So, try to ignore them, it would be better for everyone." Asuka : "Why should I ignore them? They may be nice? If they are your friends, they are mine too." Shinji : "Actually, you really disliked them." Asuka : "What kind of bitch was I!?" Shinji, chuckling : "But, you were a true one!" Asuka, chuckling too : "Baka!" Asuka took Shinji's hand in hers. That surprised him. Asuka : "How do you feel?" Shinji : "How do *I* feel? What do you mean?" Asuka : "I mean, with my hand in yours..." Shinji : "It's not very... usual coming from you. I even do think that you never touched me before." Asuka : "Ah? It's strange that I didn't do this before... It feels nice." Shinji : "Well, I think I feel the same way." He then saw that they were in front of their school. --- In class, five minutes before the end of lunch time. Shinji and Asuka were about to enter the class. Shinji : "Asuka..." Asuka : "What?" Shinji : "Could you...?" We can see that she was still holding his hand tightly. Asuka : "Could I what?" Shinji : "...release my hand..." Asuka : "Why? Is there a problem with us holding hands while entering our class?" Shinji : "Not at all from my point of view, but the others are gonna think about weird things." Asuka : "And? I don't care at all about that! Why are you attaching so much importance to what the others may think of you? You... You can't feel shameful because of me?" Shinji seemed to think a little about it. Shinji, determinated : "No I don't. I don't at all. You're right, Asuka. I'm going with you, hand in hand! Please forgive me for that thought." Asuka, giggling : "Ah, I'm relieved! You're forgiven, don't worry!" Pause. Asuka : "And don't worry, Shinji. If anyone has a problem with me holding your hand, I'll beat the living shiest out of them!!" Shinji, fearing : "The living *what*?" --- They entered in the class. Toji, seeing that Shinji entered the class : "Hi, Shinji! How was the last bat... AAAAAARRRRRR...!!!" He let out a stiffled cry. Asuka : "What's going on...?" Shinji, whispering to her : "I told you, about the hand..." Asuka advanced towards Toji with an angry look on her face, still dragging Shinji with her, in front of an entire speechless class. Asuka : "And what's the PROBLEM with ME holding SHINJI's hand!?" Toji, sarcastically : "It's just so unusual coming from the Redheaded Bitch." Asuka, fuming : "The Redheaded WHAT!!? Watch your words, dickhead!" Shinji, trying to calm her : "Asuka... It's Toji..." Asuka, voice full of disdain : "Ha! Now I understand why I dislike THIS damn fool!" Kensuke : "Huh?" Asuka : "And you, glasses-boy!? Have you something against ME holding SHINJI's hand perhaps?" Kensuke, trying desperately to calm her down : "No, not at all..." Asuka : "Good!" She then turned back to face Shinji. Asuka, now calm : "Shinji? Where's my seat?" Shinji, showing her her seat near the wall : "There." Asuka : "Thanks." Kensuke and Toji were speechless, like the rest of the class who saw the scene. While Asuka was installing herself at her desk, Shinji came near his two friends and talked with them. Toji : "What happened to her!?" Kensuke : "And how was your last battle?" Shinji : "Well... Listen carefully, and try to understand her, please... She's amnesic." Toji : "She's *WHAT*?!" Kensuke : "A-amnesic?!" Shinji : "SSSSShhhhhh... I have orders from Misato to help her to recover her memories, so, if you could *help* me a little, it would be great. Think that she never saw you two, okay?" Toji : "Can't be..." Kensuke, doing the brown-nose to Misato indirectly : "Hey, if it's Misato-san's orders, we'll help you two, don't worry!" Shinji : "Anyways, where's the class rep'? I wanted Asuka to meet her." Toji : "She'll be absent today. She was ill when I phoned her home." Kensuke : "You did *what*? You phoned the class rep' home? Trying to date her Toji?" Toji, blushing a little : "Awwww, stop that, you idiot!" Shinji looked back and saw a pensive Asuka at her desk, probably thinking about what she was doing here in the middle of people she doesn't even know, thought Shinji. Shinji : "How horrible it must be to be amnesic... I pity her." He then looked at Rei, who was still completely absent, completely out of this world. She even didn't noticed that Asuka had arrived... Asuka then saw that Shinji was looking at Rei. She sat up and walked towards him. Asuka : "Is this Rei?" Shinji, surprised : "Ah? Uh, well... Yeah. She's Ayanami Rei, First Child." Asuka : "Yeah, I can remember what you told me yesterday, at least..." Pause. Asuka : "I'll talk to her now." Shinji : "W-what?!" Asuka : "She mustn't be a bad person, despite that cold feeling that emanates from her..." She advances towards Rei. Asuka : "Ayanami Rei? You know me, right?" However, Rei did not look up at her. Rei : "I've been informed of your current state by Major Katsuragi, pilot Sohryu." Asuka, a bit troubled by Rei's behaviour : "Well. I don't know how close we were to each other, but know that I'm your friend and that if anything happens, you can count on me. I'll try to do my best. I'm your fellow pilot, aren't I?" She held a hand to Rei. Asuka : "Will we shake hands?" Rei seemed troubled as well by these last words coming from Asuka's mouth. She then took Asuka's hand and, not knowing what to do, let it shake. Asuka, smiling : "Good, Rei. We're friends, now!" A few moments later, the old Sensei arrived. Shinji sat up from his desk and came over him to explain Asuka's situation and to show him NERV papers to attest that she wasn't running at 100% of her capabilities. Well, that was what was written on NERV papers, I don't make up anything... :-) The Sensei then took the roll and began the calling up. Sensei : "Sohryu Asuka Langley." Asuka : "..." Sensei : "Sohryu Asuka Langley? Missing?" Asuka, suddenly realizing : "Oh, here!" Sensei : "Well, manifest yourself please." Asuka : "I'm sorry, Sensei." Sensei : "Good." Toji and Kensuke were mesmerized as they thought of what the ancient Asuka would have said at this time and place... Probably a low 'Yeah I'm here' followed by a 'humph' full of disdain... The class went almost like any day class, except for the few students doing gossip about Asuka and the various rumours about her state. --- The PE finally came. Shinji was playing basketball, while Asuka was doing gymnastics with the girls in her class. She felt for the least, completely lost... without him. But fate had decided that Shinji was playing basketball on the sports ground next to Asuka's. Shinji was staying on the sidelines, while Asuka was just behind him. However, a wire netting separated them. He didn't know however, that Asuka was just behind him. He was completely focused on his game, ready to receive the ball. Asuka, calling out : "Hey Shinji!" Shinji turned back and saw Asuka : "Huh? Asuka?" Toji : "Hey! SHINJI!!! Watch out!!!" Shinji was now focused again on his game. Too late, it seemed that the ball hit him hard on the forehead. He fell on the ground. Asuka : "Oh, Shinji!" Asuka opened the door between the two sports grounds and came beside Shinji. She knelt beside him and rested his head on her knees. Asuka : "Shinji, are you okay?" Shinji slowly opened his eyes. Toji, Kensuke and some other curious students were there too. Everyone was wondering why Asuka was so preoccupied by Shinji... Usually, she doesn't give a damn about him... Toji : "I'm sorry, Shinji. And when I'm thinking that I've put all my strength in that ball..." Shinji : "Well, it hurts..." And with that he closed his eyes... Asuka : "I'll take you to the infirmary." She then placed him on her shoulders... Asuka : "Gosh, he's so heavy..." ....and began to run towards the school. Toji : "How can she run like that while lifting him?" Kensuke : "Don't know..." --- Once in the corridors of the school... Asuka : "What a fool I am... Shinji's unconscious and I don't even know where's that damn infirmary in this school!" Then, at a corner, she saw the sign pointing at the door to the said infirmary. Asuka : "Ha!" She entered with him. There was no one here. She then saw the bed and put Shinji on it. Once he was completely resting on the bed, she took a chair and put her school uniform on it. Since she was still in her sport outfit, she had to change. She then did so. Shinji was awake, and tensed up when he heard the sounds of an Asuka changing clothes just under his nose. He decided to play the gentleman: He didn't do anything and kept his eyes closed. When he didn't hear anymore noise, Shinji slowly opened his eyes again, only to see Asuka's face. He tried to get up, but Asuka kept him from doing so by pressing her hand against his chest. Asuka : "Sshhh... It's my fault if you're hurt. I'm gonna keep an eye on you." Shinji : "It's not that terrible, you know. A ball had just hit my head, nothing more..." Asuka : "Well, if I hadn't called you from the other side of the wire netting you would have caught that ball." Shinji : "But I..." She shut him up by tenderly placing a little kiss on his forehead, where the ball had hit him. Shinji could feel her warm lips making contact with his skin. It was... It was... a wonderful feeling for him. Asuka : "Sorry... I just... Felt like I had to do this." Shinji : "It's okay." Asuka : "Really?" Shinji : "But something's wrong in all this..." Asuka, puzzled : "What?" Shinji : "You... you prepared that, didn't you?" Asuka : "I..." Shinji : "I mean, you did that on purpose, right?" Asuka, looking away : "...You're smarter than I thought..." Shinji : "I'm not mad at you, don't worry." Asuka : "Shinji..." Shinji could sense that her voice was cracking a little. Asuka : "Shinji... I feel so lost when I'm alone... I'm so scared!" Shinji : "Asuka, I think I understand how you feel..." He got up and took her left hand in his. She squeezed it tightly in return. Shinji : "Can you look at me?" Asuka then looked back at him. Shinji saw that she had tears all along her cheeks. Shinji : "Wait, don't cry..." Asuka, voice cracking : "But... But... I'm so scared to be far from you! You can't imagine! I was so *lost* in this classroom, not feeling you close to me! I was so *lost* on the sport ground, with no one I knew around! There were so many unknown faces! God, Shinji... I'm so... I'm so scared.. oohh..." Shinji : "Okay Shinji... Now take the situation in hand!" : "Hey, I'm here now. Isn't it what you wanted?" Asuka, slowly recovering : "Y-yes..." Shinji, smiling : "Then, why not giving me a big hug?" Asuka, looking up at him and sniffling a little : "Can I?" Shinji nodded. She then quickly put her hands around his waist and began to squeeze as tightly as she could, while resting her head against his shoulder. That surprised him a little. He wasn't expecting so much strength coming from Asuka in this hug. Shinji just put his hands around her and caressed her soft auburn hair in return. Shinji : "Do you feel better, now?" Asuka : "Much better... Thank you, for being there for me." Shinji : "Come on, you'll have to go in class now. I'll join you soon, don't worry." Asuka : "But..." Shinji : "Be strong Asuka. Be strong for me, and for yourself, okay?" Asuka : "...I'll try... You're right, Shinji... I can't live forever on your back!" Shinji : "That's better... Will you go in class, now?" Asuka : "Yeah..." Toji : "We're gonna take her there, Shinji. Don't worry." The two were very surprised to see Toji and Kensuke at the infirmary's door. Shinji : "Okay... I'm waiting for the doctor then... I don't think I can't escape the infirmary without his approval..." Toji : "Yeah, I think I understand how you feel Asuka... And I apologize here for having called you a bitch a few hours ago. We'll take care of her, don't worry, Shinji." Asuka : "Y-you're forgiven... And thank you... But I'll go alone, if you don't mind..." She then took her sports clothes, put them in her bag, and walked towards the door. Asuka : "Later Shinji." She then left the infirmary. Toji : "Anyways, I wanted to talk a little with you, Shinji... And now is the moment..." --- The classroom. Asuka entered the classroom. The teacher wasn't here yet, so she calmly put her bag on her desk. A bunch of boy students came towards her. Tall boy : "Hey Sohryu." Asuka took her time to get used to her name, but now it seemed that it was okay for her. Asuka : "Yeah? What do you want?" Tall boy : "Wanna go out with me somewhere?" Asuka, crossing her arms : "W-what? I don't see why I should! And it's a bit rude to ask me this in front of your friends." Ugly boy with glasses : "...So the rumors are true." Asuka began to fear. Fat boy : "You're not amnesic! You use that excuse to skip classes. Like any other bitch." Asuka, trembling : "I...I'm not a bitch. I am not. That's nonsense." Tall boy : "Yes you are. When you humiliated me four days ago! Only a bitch could do what you've done!" Asuka, covering her ears with her hands : "NO, NO, NO! I'm NOT a BITCH!! But why are you saying this!?" Ugly boy with glasses : "Ha! And who could believe that? You flashed us and now you push us away? Only a bitchy tease can do that. You use everyone anyways." Tall boy : "Yeah, like a bitch." Asuka, lowering her head : "Nooo.... No I'm not... I don't...use..." Fat boy : "And where has gone your agressiveness, Sohryu? Or are you simply afraid? You always brazen it out and show off, but in fact you're nothing but a powerless little bitch!" Asuka, voice cracking badly : "...not a bitch..." The boys could hear sniffles and sobs coming out from the redheaded pilot. Tall boy : "Lost your pride, Sohryu? You're just a tease, a coward... That'll teach you!" Ugly boy with glasses : "Hmmm... Tenchi..." Tall boy (Tenchi) : "What?" The ugly boy with glasses showed Toji, Shinji and Kensuke at the other end of the class, near the classroom's door. Toji was cracking his knuckles and had a rather angry look on his face, while Kensuke was recording everything on disc. As for Shinji, he was doing his usual hand tic (you know, the one where he clenches and unclenches his fist...) and had the same angry look than Toji on his face. Fat boy : "Uh oh... It's Suzuhara and Ikari..." Asuka didn't look up to see Shinji. She ran towards the door, almost running into Kensuke, incidentally making him loose his balance and fall on his butt. Toji : "Shinji, go and catch her up. I'm taking care of these fools." Shinji : "Okay." He then ran out of the classroom. Toji : "Well, now let's get on with it!" --- Outside, on the schoolyard. Asuka was curled up on a school bench, head burried in her knees. Shinji was walking towards her. Asuka, softly : "Shinji..." Shinji continued his advance. Asuka, softly : "Go away." Shinji : "Asuka... Don't worry for them, they're just a bunch of pathetic little boys." Asuka, head still buried in her knees : "Shinji. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry in front of anyone, except you... I have to be strong. I can't always depend on you. That wouldn't be fair for you. I have to face my problems alone." Shinji stayed in front of her. Shinji : "I'm glad that you consider myself as a friend. And that's what I want the most, for the moment. And you don't bother me Asuka..." Asuka : "You think I act as a friend... It's more than that, don't you see!? Can't you SEE!? Can't you see that I... I..." Shinji : "Well, more than a friend, but I understand how you feel. You're just searching for a shelter. And I'm ready to give it to y..." Asuka, interrupting and looking up at him : "But I'm taking advantage of you! I'm using you! They're right! I'm a bitch! Even with you! And... I don't want to be a bitch with you! I must have said and done so much horrible things to you! But I don't want to be a bitch with you! I don't want to! I want to be... to be..." her voice softened and she buried her head in her knees again : "...nice...I want to... I want to be kind to you... But I can't stand you watching me being hurt! I don't want you to pity me! I don't need your pity!" Obviously, there wasn't very much coherence in her words. Possibly due to her current emotional state, thought Shinji. He also thought of the verb "to use", often associated with "his father" and "himself" in his mind... But it was not the same with Asuka. He was ready to be used by her. He didn't care at all, as long as she was happy. She stood up and looked at him, tears covering her face. Shinji : "Asuka, there's no harm in being pitied. It's just to accept other's... well, other's affection and care." She smacked him, producing a loud *slap*, echoing in the whole schoolyard. Asuka : "You're lying! You must be lying! I can remember that I did and said horrible things to you! You HAVE to hate me! That can't be possible, you just have to! I know I've hurt you..." She then looked at her hand. Another flash of light stroke her mind. She saw images of herself slapping Shinji a few times, calling him baka and scorning him... Asuka, trembling : "No...No...Nononononononononooooo.... I... What have I done...? Oh noooooo!" She then fell on her knees, and lowered her head. Asuka : "I... I've hurt you... I really did... Oh no... Oh Shinji...No..." This said, the sobs went louder. Shinji knelt in front of her, his face still covered with a red mark. Shinji, softly : "Asuka... I didn't feel anything, don't worry." "Well, not really true but..." Asuka, unconsciously reached out and wrapped her arms around him. She buried her head in his chest. That surprised him. But he was beginning to get used to Asuka's new behaviour. Asuka, sobbing : "What have I done, Shinji!? I... I've hurt you... Oh Shinji, Shinji, Shinji... Forgive me... Please..." Shinji : "I'm used to your slaps, you know." Poor Shinji... That wasn't really the best answer to her problems... Asuka : "AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I DID *THAT* BEFORE!? How many times!? How did I!? How could I do that to you...? Why haven't you pushed me away yet, Shinji? Why!? I act so bad with you, and you... You don't care!" Shinji : "Listen Asuka, I will always endure everything you'll do to me. Because... Because..." Asuka, between sobs : "Because of what, Shinji?" Shinji, smiling : "Well... Because I still care about a bitch like you." : "I can't believe I finally told her... The normal Asuka would destroy me completely in a few seconds..." But Asuka remained silent instead and calmed down. Shinji : "Asuka? Are you feeling okay?" Asuka, softly : "...Shinji..." Shinji : "Hm?" Asuka, almost whispering : "...baka." She sniffled a little. Shinji smiled to himself. He gently took her to the bench where she was earlier, and she began to squeeze Shinji tighter. Asuka : "You don't believe I am amnesic, do you? You're like those boys..." Shinji : "Don't say that..." Asuka : "I just act like my old self. I can feel that." Shinji : "You trust me, right? Then I trust you too. I believe you Asuka. I can believe you. You are really amnesic. Just because the old Asuka would never allow me to hold her like that." Asuka : "And what if I was faking amnesia?" Shinji, giggling : "Oh, you couldn't last one minute of being kind with me, you know... So I think you're not faking at all." Asuka looked down. Shinji : "And you...? How do you feel?" Asuka was surprised that he asks her the question herself asked him earlier. But again, the situation was different here. Asuka : "Shinji... I... I don't know if it's love or something else, but here's how I feel : I think that I can put all my trust into you and that you will never hurt me. But, I know that I'm asking too much from you... I'm always stuck with you and you don't seem to care. Thank you, Shinji... for caring. It's all that I need for now. You're like an elder brother to me..." "But, maybe you're more..." Shinji : "That's good to hear... But how will you make up for all those slaps, now?" Asuka : "Hm, then, let me give you something you surely won't receive again if I were to recover completely..." She looked up at him, and approached her lips to his... And they were soon sharing a soft kiss, on a schoolyard bench, holding each other tightly. Shinji was terrorized... It was his first kiss after all, and maybe Asuka's too, but soon, he remembered of what he saw in movies, and began to return the kiss with all his strength... After a while, Asuka broke the kiss and then approached her mouth to Shinji's left ear. Shinji did the same with her. They were holding themselves tightly, without hurting each other. Asuka, softly, almost a whisper : "Shinji. If I were not to remember that moment when I would recover all my memories, please... Please remind me of that, okay? That was really nice." Shinji : "If you remember everything, I don't see how I'll be able to make you feel the same than here. I'll probably die from your slaps before reaching your mouth..." Asuka giggled. Asuka : "Was I *so* terrible?" Shinji : "Oh, you can't imagine. You just possibly can't..." --- Misato's apartment. The front door opened, revealing Asuka and Shinji, in their respective school uniforms. Shinji : "Tadaima!" Kaji was in the kitchen : "Ohayo, Shinji-kun!" Asuka : "I know that voice..." The two teens entered the kitchen. Asuka's face immediately lit up with joy when she saw Kaji. Kaji : "Oh, Asuka. You're here too." Asuka : "W-who are you? I... I know your face, but..." Kaji : "Ah, how ironic... I forgot that you were amnesic." Asuka, advancing towards him : "Yeah, but I'm sure that I know you! I'm sure of that! You're someone close to me! I can tell that I like you very much." Kaji : "That's good that I left this memory of myself in your mind." Asuka : "Oh, please, tell me your name!" Kaji, smiling at her : "Kaji. Ryoji Kaji." Pause. Asuka seemed to think about it for a while. Asuka, suddenly : "Kaji-san!" Kaji : "Ha, it seems that you remember me after all." Asuka : "Unfortunately, I can't remember anything else... I'm sorry." Kaji : "Don't worry. When I was younger I had a friend who was in the same state. I can understand how you feel." Asuka : "You're kind. You're just like Shinji." Kaji grinned inwardly. Shinji chose that moment to speak. Shinji : "By the way, Kaji-san, where's Misato-san?" Kaji : "She had some work to do at her office. She gave me the keycard to the apartment so that I could be there at your return... Tomorrow you have all harmonics tests to do, okay?" Asuka, giving Shinji a puzzled look : "What's an harmonics test?" Shinji, chuckling : "I'll explain you later, Asuka." --- It was now night. Shinji was in his bed, listening to his SDAT, and thinking about the events of the day. Asuka : "May I...?" Shinji could hear her voice even throughout his earphones. She was at his door, wearing only her nightdress. Shinji, smiling at her : "Yeah, you can come here." Asuka then rushed up under the blankets, with Shinji. This time they were face to face. The two of them seemed to feel very uneasy. Asuka : "Sorry... I'm just disturbing..." Shinji, determinated : "Of course not! You don't!" Asuka, blushing a bit : "You're not mad at me for today?" Shinji : "I can't be mad at you, Asuka. I don't know why I should be." Asuka, softly, almost a whisper : "Thank you." She closed her eyes. Shinji then decided to turn his back to Asuka, and to go to sleep. He couldn't face her in his sleep. not now, anyways. Asuka : "Kaji-san told me that I'll have to climb back in that giant robot tomorrow..." Shinji : "How do you feel about that?" Asuka : "I must admit...that I'm afraid." Shinji : "..." Asuka : "This thing made me lost all of my memories. What will it do to me tomorrow, Shinji?" Shinji : "You know, Asuka, Evas aren't always good. Many times, I told myself that I would never climb back again in them. But everytime, I did climb back in my Unit 01. Just because..." Asuka : "Because of what, Shinji?" Shinji : "Because I was forced to, because of the Angel attacks. But from now on I won't run away anymore, because I've found something to do with it..." Asuka : "..." Shinji : "I have to protect you Asuka. I have to protect the girl who trusts me the most. And I can't loose that trust you put in me." Asuka : "...Me too, Shinji. I'll do the same for you... Thank you, I'm more confident about tomorrow now." Pause. Shinji : "Good night Asuka." There was no reply coming from Asuka yet. Instead, Shinji felt a soft pair of lips against his cheek. Asuka lightly kissed him here... Asuka, softly in Shinji's ear : "That was a good-night kiss. Have sweet dreams, Shinji." Asuka then soon fell asleep, according to the little snorings and purrings coming from her. Shinji began to go to dreamland as well. He took his time, however. He first thought about Asuka and what happened today... That day has been so unreal for him, that he first thought it was an illusion, or a dream, or something like the day before the end of the world, just because Asuka was not her usual self... Tomorrow she'll have a synchro test with her Eva Unit 02. We'll see what happens... --- Shinji's been woken up in the middle of the night by a cry coming from Asuka. Asuka : "AAAHHHHH!" Shinji quickly turned back to face Asuka, and saw that she had her head bent down. Shinji : "Asuka...? What's going on?" She then began to sob quietly and buried her head in his chest. Shinji : "I won't be afraid, Asuka... not now!" : "Asuka... Tell me what's wrong." Asuka just continued to sob and squeezed Shinji's nightshirt as much as she could. He then put his arms gently around her, and rested his head on hers. Shinji : "Asuka, I'm here... I'm holding you... There's nothing to fear. Now tell me what was that nightmare..." However, the reply coming from Asuka startled Shinji. Asuka, sobbing : "...Mama..." --- TO BE CONTINUED Don't miss the next ^Āpisode : "The Source of One's Mind" Author's notes: I know, I know... Asuka makes the OOC-o-meter (tm) explode in this fic, but it's for the plot, don't worry. I know that OOC characters aren't appreciated, because you don't feel that this IS the character you know from the original series, and the fic then has less charm. Okay the wait was terribly long, but I had to work on the final Child Of Love chapter, and I had decided to take a little break. But I have some good news. Some fics (by other authors) are at the moment in preparation, and guess what? They feature Teri-chan! You can't imagine how happy I am! I feel like a contented father or something! I hope you'll see them soon! (Teri-chan's a star now! :-) Well, I have to mention too that my English gateway is now up! Use either one of the three URLs at the top of this document and you'll enter into ASUKA's Notebook. I'm not going to do some advertising for my site, but hey, take a look at it. Again, special thanks to all of my pre-readers! (the list is just beginning to get bigger and bigger!) : Al-l-Bus ("Imagine Normality?" (go read the new version! Even better than before!, "Love After Impact", "A New World For Shinji & Asuka") Alain Gravel ("The One I Love Is..." a must-to read, "Lost Love") Borderline Case ("Reflections In Red") David Watson ("Victory" songfic, and thanks for the retoolings!) EBJ (Thank you too! I just don't know what I could do without you! ^_^) Eva_Pilot00 Greg Thomas (Webmaster of "Everything's Anime" ) DJ Lesser ("Ayanami's Lesson", a side story to the Ninth Month of Asuka's pregnancy.) Kaoru Nagisa ("EvaLeSs") Jon Byram ("Sins Of The Past") Pheaton Readiosys Fisher ("Unfamilliar Fearings" and webmaster of RomEmul ) Sammy Sy Shinji The 10 o'clock Assassin (Sorry, list too long...) Sudhoda'ya Sushi Boy Thanks to you all, and to all the ones who read my story throughout the world!!!!!! See ya soon! Axel Terizaki e three URLs at the top of this document and you'll enter into ASUKA's Notebook. I'm not going to do some advertising for my site, but hey, take a look at it. Again, special thanks to all of my pre-readers! (the list is just beginning to get bigger and bigger!) : Al-l-Bus ("Imagine Normality?" (go read the new version! Even better than before!, "Love After Impact", "A New World For Shinji & Asuka") Alain Gravel ("The One I Love Is..." a must-to read, "Lost Love") Borderline Case ("Reflections In Red") David Watson ("Victory" songfic, and thanks for the retoolings!) EBJ (Thank you too! I just don't know what I could do without you! ^_^) Eva_Pilot00 Greg Thomas (Webmaster of "Everything's Anime" ) DJ Lesser ("Ayanami's Lesson", a side story to the Ninth Month of Asuka's pregnancy.) Kaoru Nagisa ("EvaLeSs") Jon Byram ("Sins Of The Past") Pheaton Readiosys Fisher ("Unfamilliar Fearings" and webmaster of RomEmul ) Sammy Sy Shinji The 10 o'clock Assassin (Sorry, list too long...) Sudhoda'ya Sushi Boy Thanks to you all, and to all the ones who read my story throughout the world!!!!!! See ya soon! Axel Terizaki